As discussed in an earlier post, members of the Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) believe in eternal marriage. We also believe in eternal families. Children
born into the covenant of eternal marriage (through a temple sealing) become
part of an eternal family unit. We believe children can bring us joy both now
and in the eternities.
I
came across the cover of this Time
Magazine back in August, and I found it intriguing. The cover reads The
Childfree Life, when having it all means not having children,1 and
shows a blissfully happy couple lying on the beach, margaritas in their future,
and no cares in the world. No children
to throw sand in their hair, no worries about returning home early for
naptimes, and no imminent threat of meltdown and embarrassing public tantrum.
Sounds
relaxing…
The
United States now has the lowest birthrate in its history.2 Couples
who choose not to have children can become fully devoted to work, spouse, and
their own hobbies, without
the inconveniences children might bring. 3
From a religious standpoint, Church Apostle Neil L. Anderson
said, “It is a crowning privilege of
a husband and wife who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for
these spirit children of God. We believe in families, and we believe in children.”4
To
the contrary I sometimes hear words and phrases referring to children as
inconvenient, costly, loud, and troublesome…Elder Anderson used the word “privilege.” Children are meant to be our
crown jewels of joy, both in this life and in the eternities.
Members
of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe that having children
is a commandment from God.5 Church Apostle Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “The power to create
mortal life is the most exalted power God has given to His children. Its use
was mandated by God’s first commandment to Adam and Eve.”6
So
from the beginning of man, God has commanded that husband and wife have
children. Though over time, political and public opinions, laws, and policies
change with the evolving culture, it is interesting to note that God’s laws do
not change.7
Because
of this strong belief in family, it is sometimes joked that Mormons have
children by the dozen, but these decisions are up to individual families.
Church Apostle Neil L. Anderson said, “When to have a child and how many children to have are private decisions to be made between a husband and wife and the Lord. These are sacred decisions—decisions that should be made with sincere prayer and acted on with great faith.”8
My
husband and I have chosen the path with children. And parenthood is hard! We don’t have kids
just to see if they will get my husband’s good looks or a high IQ. We don’t have kids solely based on how much
fun they are. Nor do we feel we have
superior parenting skills to employ. Rather,
I often feel a lack thereof. It is not
an easy job. It requires long days and
even nights.
The Family: A Proclamation to the World, states “Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.” 9
This goes beyond just
diapering and bathing, feeding and clothing.
It involves a time investment, for which we can’t see the results
now. Together, my husband and I work
together “as equal partners” in raising, loving, hoping, and praying for our
children, that they will become educated, productive members of society, and
follow the teachings of God.
Before
my children came along, I had some worries about entering into parenthood. I had some desires to be a working
professional, recognizing that in our society there seems to be more distinguished
accomplishments than having a family. Sometimes
I feel as though raising a family hits the bottom of the rung, but I know the most
important work my husband and I can do is
in the home.10 David O. McKay, past President of the
Church said, “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”11
I
also had worries that having children would tie us home too much and make us
boring! But I will tell you now, that
there is nothing boring about having kids!
They are full of surprises. We laugh at their funny behaviors, and cute things
they do. And we cheer for them as they
hit every milestone!
Margaritas
on the beach are not part of our life right now—they would have to be virgin
anyway. My husband and I can't go out
and have fun the way we did before we had kids--we have naptimes and bedtimes
to be home for. We have had to sacrifice some things. But we have found parenthood is rewarding and fulfilling.
My husband and I have discovered that with
our children we do have it all! We are creating an eternal family. Our children
will be ours forever! We are incredibly
blessed, and life is good!
“We believe that the ultimate
treasures on earth and in heaven are our children and our posterity,” Church
Apostle Dallin H. Oaks said.12
Reference:
2. See
Joyce A. Martin and others, “Births: Final Data for 2011,” National
Vital Statistics Reports, vol. 62, no. 1 (June 28, 2013), 4;
Gloria Goodale, “Behind a Looming Baby Bust,” Christian Science Monitor
Weekly, Feb. 4, 2013, 21, 23.
3. “We
cannot always explain the difficulties of our mortality. Sometimes life seems
very unfair—especially when our greatest desire is to do exactly what the Lord
has commanded. As the Lord’s servant, I assure you that this promise is
certain: “Faithful members whose circumstances do not allow them to receive the
blessings of eternal marriage and parenthood in this life will receive all
promised blessings in the eternities, [as] they keep the covenants they have
made with God.”
4. Church Apostle Neil L. Anderson, “Children”
October 2011, General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints
5. “THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to
their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s
commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in
force.” The Family: A
Proclamation to the World
7. “There
are many political and social pressures for legal and policy changes to
establish behaviors contrary to God’s decrees about sexual morality and
contrary to the eternal nature and purposes of marriage and childbearing. These
pressures have already authorized same-gender marriages in various states and
nations… Unlike other organizations that can change their policies and even
their doctrines, our policies are determined by the truths God has identified as
unchangeable.” Church Apostle Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “No Other Gods”, October
2013 , General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
8. Church
Apostle Neil L. Anderson, “Children” October 2011, General Conference of The
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
10. Harold B.
Lee, 11th President of the Church, “The most important… work you will ever do
will be within the walls of your own homes” (Teachings of Presidents of the
Church: Harold B. Lee [2000], 134)
11. David
O. McKay, 9th President of the Church, (quoted from J. E.
McCulloch, Home: The Savior of Civilization [1924], 42; in Conference
Report, Apr. 1935, 116).
Published by: McKell
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