The Things That Matter Most

Too often, I will admit, I go rushing through my days, even weeks, trying to check off my never-ending to-do list.  My kids get dragged along, in and out of car seats, as I rush to the grocery store, to the post office, to drop something by a neighbor’s house, then back home again, to finish the chores and make dinner while ushering the kids out of the kitchen over and over again.  By the time night falls, I am so exhausted, my kids are restless, and I dump them on my husband, who couldn't possibly have had so much to deal with at work as I did at home with the kids.

I feel like I need to sit and take a break just thinking about it!

After doing this a while, I feel a gentle nudge on my conscience that I am missing something!  How do I so often let the busyness of life distract me from the really important things?  As I rush through the day, why do all the other things take priority, leaving my kids and husband seemingly less important?

Unfortunately, my desire to do it all, and to do everything the best I can, causes me to come up short in the most important things--namely, my family!  No matter how I put it, when I stop and think about it, I know that no e-mail, errand, or chore is more important than spending time with my kids and husband. 

When my son B yells “Mom!  Look at ME!  I am reminded that it is not enough just to be in the same room as my kids or husband, but to be in the moment together!

President Thomas S. Monson (our prophet) said, “If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.”

And so, I close the laptop, or stop whatever I was doing, and I read to my kiddos, or I play Memory with B, or we turn on the music and dance, or run around the house.  These are the moments that I love!  Laughing together!  Playing tickle fight.  Screaming and giggling as we chase each other.  Energy spent together, moments spent together, memories being made… That is what it is all about!

And, instead of dumping the kids on an already worn-out husband, sharing the responsibility of bedtime together eases the load on both of us.  Then sitting down together to rest from our tiring day, taking time to really talk (not distractedly from behind the laptop…I’m guilty, again), sharing in the moment is what makes our marriage tick!

I love this video, because it reminds me of these most important moments that I cherish. 

Reference: President Thomas S. Monson, "Finding Joy in the Journey"

Published by: McKell

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Like Mother, Like Son

Today I have chosen to write about something that has been weighing on my mind recently. As you know, I have my three little crazies whom I love and adore greatly. But there are also times when it is all I can do to make it through the day keeping everyone alive! Seriously. So, I was thinking about how each of them seems to have inherited a different unfavorable trait -who am I kidding, we are talking in the plural not the singular here- from me. And it seems to be those precise characteristics that cause us the most issues. I'm not sure if it's the genetics or if we unknowingly train them to be that way or what, but I can usually attribute their most annoying habits to either me or my husband.

I recently had a temple recommend interview with one of our Stake Presidency leaders. (We, as Mormons, have a series of interviews to ascertain whether we are following the commandments and living a virtuous life worthy of entering into our temples. We can only enter the temple if we are living in such a way that is in accordance with church guidelines. A Stake is a regional organization of individual meeting house congregations.) I brought up this theory. And what ensued was exactly what I didn't know I needed to hear.

We talked about how each child is sent to just the right family. And oftentimes, these children express the shortcomings of their parents. Common sense might imply that this is harmful, passing objectionable traits from generation to generation. But agreeing to that is like surrendering our God-given, individual will. It is like saying, "I am this way and that can never change and there is nothing that can be done about it." Nonsense! I believe we are given shortcomings to keep us from becoming too proud, and to give us challenges to overcome. To grow. To transform. Think about it. What in your life has been the most joyful? Things that were simply handed to you, or things that you worked hard toward, achieved, and could look back and see the progress that you made? At least for me, it is most certainly the latter of the two. And why should this be any different? If there's some blaring character flaw that you don't love about yourself, then change it! And victory will be all the sweeter. So what does this tangent have to do with your children inheriting your worst flaws? I'm so glad you asked.

Let's say my middle child B is very...spirited. With all of those opinions, you also get a very defiant nature. He -in and of himself -has us at our wits' end most days. However, I feel I only have myself to blame. Not that I cater to him, but I am exactly. The. Same. Way. What we discussed in my interview was that perhaps, if I could learn to fix my personal shortcomings on this regard, I could better learn to address my child's. And what better way to really learn something than to teach it to someone else? We have a pattern for service in our church. We have no paid local clergy. Everyone volunteers their time as requested in whatever capacity in which they are serving. For example- I just finished over two years as a Sunday School teacher for teenagers. We have manuals with lessons and themes that we follow, and we are required to use the provided curriculum. Often there were topics that I did not know much about. But as I took the time to read about them in the scriptures and really mull them over in my mind and heart during the week, I came to understand and appreciate the doctrine. And then I was ready to teach. I think that I learned more, during my time as a teacher, than any of my students could have learned in my classes. It is one of the simple things that I LOVE about our church. There is a basic, heavenly-inspired method to our service. As we are asked to fulfill different roles throughout our years of worship, our spiritual and intellectual capacity grows indefinitely. And parenting, in this regard, is the same. As we are introspective and study ourselves, we can help our children. Which will, in turn, further our own progression toward self improvement.

Coming up with the theory is the easy part, as usual. The elbow grease comes with figuring out how and what to fix. And what better way to parent than on our knees? We can pray, read scriptures, research, and pray some more. Knowing that we are all God's children, could we find a better destination for our pleas? We can make our day by day situations ones where the Spirit of God is more likely to reside, so we are better prepared to hear His answers. We can keep our homes, minds, and bodies clean and uncluttered (physically and figuratively). We can fast. We can attend worship services. We Mormons can spend time in the beautiful, peaceful quiet of the temple. Or we can reflect in nature, among God's creations. The important part is not to give up. Sometimes the answer doesn't come as readily, or as easily carried out as you might desire, but the answer always comes. We are promised that it will always come. (see James 1:5-6 "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally...and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering.")

So now I'm off to study, and ponder, and pray. I have faith that as I listen for our Heavenly Father's answers, both B and I will infinitely benefit. And then maybe we can leave the house on time in the morning without him taking off every article of clothing I've dressed him in (even though I intentionally picked out his favorite of everything) just so he can pick each piece out himself. Or maybe I will learn to leave extra time for him to redo everything I have done. I guess we will wait and see.

Published by: Jen

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Peanut Butter, Sticky Kisses, and the Pearly Gates

One of the first things I learned about parenting is that any attempt to stay clean is futile.

I remember returning from the grocery store one day to discover spaghetti sauce smeared on the front of my white shirt.  Upon further investigation, I also found jam and peanut butter handprints on my back!

In that moment I realized that I really am a mom!  Up to that point I had felt like I was still the same me, with a kid tagging along, but now I realized I am a mom with everything that title brings—messy handprints included.

 

Sometimes motherhood is so wonderful; I have times that I try to sit back and soak up all the joy of the moment.  Sometimes motherhood is comical, hearing a witty response from my three year old that makes me chuckle.  Sometimes it feels like a race, trying to get all the errands run before my kids fall apart because it is too near nap time.  Sometimes motherhood is frustrating, my kids aren't cooperating and I feel at a loss for parenting skills.  Sometimes I feel at my wit’s end, because kids have been waking up in the night, and now all I need is a nap, but my kids won't settle down.  Sometimes it is just messy, as my kids dump, smear, and manage to get into everything they shouldn't. 

I used to have this vision of myself as a mom: Always put together, and things in order.  Smiling, playing and having fun with my kids.  Never ruffled.  Scheduled. Kids always clean, their hair done, always happy.

But that is not what motherhood is about.  Motherhood is all encompassing--the good and the bad; the messes and the baths, the happy giggles and the tears, joy and frustration, time outs and lots of love.

I have stopped, or rather, I am trying to stop viewing myself against the backdrop of my vision of a perfect mother, because it is not real or attainable.  I'm learning how to be a good mother, but I mess up a lot, and that's okay!

Motherhood is messy.  It’s unpredictable.  It’s finding piles of candy wrappers around the house and not being able to find the source.  It’s days of getting out of the shower to find the garbage can has been dumped out again. 

Motherhood is full of surprises.  But that is also what makes life so much fun!  The trick is remembering to laugh.  It’s finding those precious moments in the midst of the mayhem:  the ear-to-ear grin, as my child looks down at the new pile of flour dumped on the floor and proudly exclaims, "Hey Mom!  Look at this MOUNTAIN!"  

Lil' M, using her hummus to paint her feet, legs, and pants

This quote from Marjorie Pay Hinckley about sums it up:

“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.

I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.

I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor’s children.

I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.

I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.

I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”

Published by: McKell

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What Mormons Believe About Family

Short video on the family. 

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November Theme: Gratitude for Having an Eternal Family

We are a little late rolling out our theme for November… but we are excited to take this month to discuss the family, and our gratitude for having an eternal family!  This theme is near and dear to our hearts, because this is the stage of life we are in right now! 

When I was leaving the hospital with my first little baby boy, I felt overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for a new little person. It was all very new to me; I couldn't believe they would send me home with a brand new baby without first checking off a list of reading material or how-to parenting videos, or maybe even requiring me to 'test out' before leaving the hospital. What were they thinking?

I did a lot of reading on my own, I consulted my mom, and a lot of friends with several children, and I tried my best to “do it right”.  Of course, I didn’t always do it right, I messed up a lot, and I felt grateful that my first child was a boy, because I figured that he was tough!  Thankfully he, and I, survived through my parenting mishaps.

Being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints also helped a lot!  We believe that the family is fundamental in society, and we are often taught about family in church.  There are even parenting classes offered!  I love “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”, a proclamation given by the prophet and apostles of our church, which outlines exactly how God expects us to run our family!  In this most important work, I am not left to wonder what is right in God’s eyes. 

Through this inspired document, we know that we are created in God’s image, and that we are raising God’s spiritual sons and daughters!  We understand that it is a commandment from God to have children.  We know that a man and a woman should be married as husband and wife, and be equally united.  We know that we need to base our family on the teachings of Jesus Christ.  Our home should be a place of love, a place where values are taught, a place where we learn to work and play together.  Where fathers preside in love and righteousness, and mothers are primarily responsible for the nurturing of their children.  We know that through the blessings of the temple, our family can be united eternally!  (… Which means that even after we depart this life, because we have been sealed as a family in the temple, I will continue to be married to my husband, and my children will still be mine, in Heaven.)

All of the important details about the family are laid out very neatly. When there are so many other voices in the world with differing opinions (some very adamantly promoting their point of view), I have a sure knowledge of what is right. I don't have to wonder if the world is overpopulated; I know the Lord created the earth for our use, and there is room enough for all of His children. When it comes to my position on marriage and having children, I know it is what God wants for us. In His love for us, He has explained the best way for us to be happy!

I love my little family, and I know that I am doing God’s work!  What a humbling responsibility it is to be raising his spirit son and daughter. (Prior to our mortal existence here, each spirit son and daughter lived with God in Heaven.)  Elder Neil L. Anderson, one of the 12 apostles, said, “When a child is born to a husband and wife, they are fulfilling part of our Heavenly Father’s plan to bring children to earth.”  I believe there is still part of heaven in our newborn babies, them having so recently left our Heavenly Father’s presence.  I have had glimpses of their divine identity.  And I have the blessing of teaching and mothering them!  

Published by: McKell

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Ask the Missionaries!

After interviewing our primary children, and getting their answers, some right on, and others a little off... we decided to Ask the Missionaries!  Here are their answers to the same questions we asked our children.

Elder Scholes and Elder Galbraith answered:

What is the Word of Wisdom?
The Word of Wisdom is a health code for our bodies.  It prohibits the use of alcohol, tobacco, tea, coffee and illegal drugs.  God wants us to be healthy so He asks us to eat fruits, vegetables, grains, and to eat meat sparingly.  The Lord has promised us blessings if we obey.  When we follow the Word of Wisdom we are more receptive to the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Who is the head of the church?  What does he do?
The head of the church is called a prophet, and today his name is Thomas S. Monson.  He leads and guides us today, just like prophets of old from the scriptures; such as Adam, Noah, Abraham and Moses. Prophets testify of Jesus Christ and teach his gospel.  He, like the prophets of old, teaches the will of God.  Prophets receive revelation for the church.

Who is Joseph Smith?
 Joseph Smith was the first prophet of the restored church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  As a young boy, in the 1820's, he wanted to know what church to join.  One day he was reading the Bible, in James 1:5 which says if you lack wisdom, ask God.  So he went to pray in a grove of trees.  While he was praying a vision opened up to him, of God the father and Jesus Christ... they told him to join none of the churches.  Christ asked Joseph to help restore the true church.  Joseph also translated the Book of Mormon, which we have today.

What do the scriptures teach?
The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ.  It came forth in this dispensation by the will of the Lord.  It is a record of God'd dealings with the people who lived in ancient America.  The scriptures put forth the doctrines of the gospel, outline the plan of salvation, and tell men what they must do to gain peace in this life and eternal salvation in the life to come.  It teaches us that we must have faith in Jesus Christ, repent, be baptized, receive the Holy Ghost, and endure to the end.
Watch an apostles introduction of the Book of Mormon

What is the Priesthood?
The priesthood is the eternal power and authority of God, which he uses to create and govern the heavens and the Earth.  Through this power, he redeems and exalts his children, and brings to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. (See Moses 1:39)  God gives priesthood authority to worthy male members of the church so they can act in His name for the salvation of his children.  Through the priesthood we can be baptized and receive the Holy Ghost.

Why do we pray?
Heavenly Father loves us and knows each of our needs.  He wants to communicate with us through prayer.  When we pray with real intent, God will listen to our prayer and help us in his own time.  God loves when we speak with him.  Jesus Christ taught us to pray always, and commanded, "Therefore ye must always pray unto the Father in my name" 3 Nephi 18:19.


Sister Adair & Sister Gordon answered:

Why do we get baptized?
 When we are baptized we make a covenant, or promise, with God, that we will keep his commandments and be willing to take Jesus Christ's name upon us.  In return God blesses us and promises his spirit to always be with us.

Why do we go to church?
 By setting Sunday aside as a day for God, we create the perfect environment to grow spiritually.  When we go to church we learn from each other's experiences and remind ourselves, through partaking the sacrament, of our baptismal promises to live Christ-like lives.

What is the sacrament and what does it symbolize?
Christ atoned for our sins by offering himself as a sacrifice, making it possible for us to repent, or receive forgiveness and strive to be perfect, like him.  Every Sunday we are reminded of this gift by partaking of the sacrament.  Bread, which symbolizes Christ's body, is blessed and passed to the congregation.  Water, which symbolizes his blood, is also blessed and passed.  It is also a reminder to each of us of the promises we made when we were baptized, that we would take upon our self the name of Christ and live faithfully to his commandments the rest of our lives.  In return God promises us that we will have his spirit to be with us always, and that we can receive a remission of our sins.

What did Jesus teach and how can we follow him?
Jesus showed us by his perfect example what we need to do to be truly happy in this life and next.  He taught us to love one another, by putting our concern for others above our concern for ourselves.  The way we can follow him is by keeping his commandments such as faith, repentance, baptism, and enduring to the end.

Why do we have temples?
The temple is a sacred place where we can can perform ordinances that last for eternity, both for ourselves and for those who have passed on, such as marriage and baptism.  Even after this life, we can still progress.

Where does God live?
God lives in Heaven!

Reference: "Ask the missionaries!  They can help you!" By Elder Russel M. Nelson, of the 12 apostles
Watch: Kid Perspectives, short video

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Kid Perspectives

We love our primary children!  They have great answers (funny, thoughtful, and serious) to gospel questions.  Turn up your volume before listening.  Get ready to smile!

Want the doctrine based answers to these questions?  

We asked the missionaries!  Questions are answered here (link).

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Living Happily

As I rode home on the metro the other day I noticed an advertisement that struck me.  The advertisement said:  “See how millions of people around the country are living happily WITHOUT religion”  My immediate reaction to the sign was surprise.  “Why would anyone say that? And what benefit does anyone get out of having no religion?  It didn't take me long to realize how easy it would be to believe in no religion.  With no religion there is no sin beyond what would be necessary to adhere to the law of the land.  How much easier life would be if you could live free of the guilt of any wrong doing!  No wonder it would be desirable to live without religion!

However, I know that it is not that way.  Like a child running away from home thinking he is free from the authoritarian rule of restrictive parents who soon learns on his own that what he thought was strict rule was really loving guidance provided by parents who sincerely care. Those who choose to do away with religion will one day face God and know for themselves that what they were escaping was not dictatorial law but instead loving guidance for their own sake.

I know that God loves his children and he gives us rules for our own benefit, not to test us beyond what we can handle so he can watch us fall and burn, but to help us avoid what would be the unavoidable consequences of poor decisions.  Self-indulgenceis not happiness as evidenced by the large number of people in our society either on anti-depressants, chronically depressed, feeling a lack of purpose,or in dysfunctional relationships.God is the guide who shows us how to attain true happiness and purpose by following the principles and rules of religion. 

So as I sat on the train that day and reflected on that advertisement my surprise turned to sorrow for those who choose indulgence and reject religion.   It is sad to think that most people who heed the sign will travel a long road to nowhere.

By Guest Blogger: Brock

View Brock's 'I'm a Mormon' Profile

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The Church at a Glance

If you have ever wondered what Mormon's believe, this short video gives a great overview...

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Happy HaLLOwEeN!

This Halloween we had pumpkins, pirates, chickens, lady bugs and witches parading our house!  Lots of excitement, too much candy, and tons of fun!

We had our traditional dinner in a pumpkin...

And we invited the missionaries over, along with a friend!  We always like having them over!  My kids LOVE the missionaries, and they are fun for us to hang out with.  If you ever see them, invite them in!  They would love to meet you!

We had a discussion, with our friend and the missionaries, about the Holy Ghost.  Unlike ghosts and goblins of the Halloween variety, we believe the Holy Ghost is the third member of the Godhead. He is a personage of spirit, without a body of flesh and bones.  He is often referred to as the Spirit, the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God, the Spirit of the Lord, or the Comforter." 

I pray daily to have his companionship, as he plays the roles a best friend would.  He looks out for us, and guides us in our decisions.  Warns us of danger, teaches "the truth of all things", and brings comfort.  He fills us with feelings of peace, *hope, and love. "He is a witness or testifier of the power of God, the divinity of Christ, and the truth of the restored gospel." 

We can all feel the Holy Ghost at times, but to have his companionship always, you must be a baptized member of the church and have the gift conferred on you by a Priesthood blessing.

When I start my day by seeking the guidance of the Holy Ghost, and trying to focus on Christ, my day always goes so much better!  It is not that my situation changes, neither does it prevent my kids from acting up, or things from going wrong... but my perspective changes, I remember the big picture better, and little things don't bother me so much.  

Also I am able to better follow promptings given by the Holy Spirit, because I am "in tune" to receive them.  I might pick up on a prompting to visit a friend, to call a sibling, or to better understand the needs of my children.  I can also feel the Lord's love for me and for others much more when I have the Holy Ghost with me.

The Holy Ghost is the greatest gift we can receive!  I believe there is no better feeling, than feeling the presence of the Holy Ghost in my life!  And I feel more assurance and a surer knowledge from this spiritual sense, or feelings from the Holy Ghost, than I do from any other reasoning or tangible knowledge or evidence.

If [we] would open [our] hearts to the refining influence of this unspeakable gift of the Holy Ghost, a glorious new spiritual dimension would come to light.

Many times, I have relied on feelings or promptings from the Holy Ghost as I have made tough decisions in my life, or want confirmation that the path I have chosen is right for me.  I have experienced the light and truth he brings, as well as the peace, comfort, and love. What a great blessing it is to me!

References:

LDS Topics: Holy Ghost

Moroni 10:5, Moroni 8:26

If you want to learn more about the Holy Ghost, his roles, and how to keep his companionship, read this is a great talk!  "The Unspeakable Gift", by Elder Joseph B. Worthlin, of the 12 apostles.

Published by: McKell

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Charity Never Faileth

Today I made a festive autumn wreath and vase to take to some girls from church. In our congregations, we are part of a women's group called the Relief Society. Basically, we have a built-in network of friends and support wherever we go! The worldwide motto is Charity Never Faileth, and a large part of what we do is service. We seek out and help others.

Visiting teaching is one way we can be sure every woman's needs are being met. We are assigned a partner and a small number of women to get to know and visit each month. We are also asked to share a spiritual thought to discuss with them. If there is a clear or immediate way that we can help to make their lives a little easier, we offer to help! We strive to mourn with those that mourn, comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things and in all places (Mosiah 18:8-9)

That sounds like a big task, but if you break it down into baby steps, it is much easier to handle. Every month we meet, send a letter, drop off a goodie- really anything- to make contact with each woman on our list. We slowly aim to learn about her. As the friendship develops, we can better assess her needs and know how to serve her. It may sound a little awkward, and at the beginning, sometimes it is, but it is always nice to know that someone is looking out for you! Some of my very best friends are girls that I either visit taught or who visit taught me.


We realize that God loves all of His children and needs us to help one another out. Visiting teaching is one way that we can act as the Lord's hands to serve those around us. That may mean watching her kids so she can go to the dentist, giving her a ride if her car is in the shop, or arranging meals for the family and play dates for older children when she has a new baby. For me, it has often meant a kind, listening ear on days where I just needed a friend. For some it means someone to hold your hand while you are plagued with illness. The beauty of visiting teaching is that it transforms into whatever you need it to be. We really learn to love each other and come to understand more about the charity Jesus Christ has for us.

I am not saying that I am perfect at this, but I would like to be! Especially with my small children still at home during the day, sometimes it is difficult to do this well. But I have just been given new women to get to know and to visit, and I am excited to get going. I truly feel that this is something Christ wants us to do for one another. And that is something worth doing indeed.

Published by Jen

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FHE and Hello Kitty Storm Troopers

Yesterday we came together for what we Mormons endearingly call Family Home Evening (or FHE for short). Every Monday night, we gather as a family to sing gospel songs, read scriptures, teach a lesson based on a gospel principle, and play a game or do some other activity. We always end with a treat! Some weeks I have planned ahead better than others; you never know what you're going to get at our house. The important thing is the consistency, as it is with many gospel-oriented things.

My older boys LOVE FHE! B prays for it every night. And they both request it most days. Last night we talked about how the Lord will never ask us to do more than we are able and will always provide a way to accomplish His commandments. For an example, we reviewed a story from the Book of Mormon. A man, Nephi, is asked by God to do the seemingly impossible, and responds by saying "I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save He shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commanded them." (1 Nephi 3:7)

We wrapped up the evening with Star Wars sugar cookies that the boys helped prepare earlier in the day. As I was putting the cookies into the oven, M said, "Mom! You are SO GOOD at this!"

 However, as soon as I started decorating them (in a hurry, as the spaghetti noodles were cooking for dinner), M stated, "Umm, Mom...these look...kinda...disgusting. Why does Yoda look so sad?" My husband said my Storm Troopers looked like a combination of Hello Kitty and Angry Birds.

Ugly cookies or not, they are mostly gone by now. And the boys sat still for several minutes of scripture study. And both boys asked to have FHE again tonight! I'll call that a success.

Published by Jen

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Serving Up Cupcakes!

I spent today baking!  It pretty much was an ALL DAY endeavor... not what I had planned on, but I went a little crazy and made FOUR DOZEN cupcakes!  If I'm going to all the trouble of baking, I might as well double the recipe... And then I decided, since the recipe I chose involved some waiting time (with cooking down then cooling of coconut milk), I could try another flavor too!  Add in the help of my kids, the extra bath around lunch time because they were both covered in chocolate, and 'Lil M spending most her time on my hip... it took all day.

But they were delicious!  Thanks to Cupcakes by Cami for the new recipes!  Against my nature, I actually followed the recipe too, which doesn't always happen, but today I wasn't baking for us.  

Typically, Monday nights at our house we have "Family Night".  One night a week, my husband, kids and I, all come together as a family to sing songs, pray, and have a short lesson together; the best ones, according to my kids and husband, end with a treat!  My kids are still young enough, they LOVE family night!

Today's lesson was on service.  We learned that service can be fun, AND tasty!  We took the cupcakes to our neighbors, and people from church who had a birthday this month.  B was so excited to carry the plates of cupcakes to everyone!  

We discussed that if Jesus were at our house, we would want to serve him!  We talked about the nice things we would want to do for him.  Then we read in Matthew 25:40, "Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." And I explained that when we do nice things for others, it is like we are doing it for Jesus! 

Of course, family night doesn't always go as planned, and we had to finish up early because 'Lil M was tired and whining because she thought she saw a dog out the window, that she REALLY wanted to go pet!  

Oh well.  I'll finish the deliveries tomorrow.  However, family night ended with everyone happily eating cupcakes!

(If you are interested in the recipes, here is the link to Garbonzo Bean Chocolate Cupcakes and Coconut Cupcakes with Coconut Buttercream Frosting... 

My favorite was the coconut ;))

Also, some of my lesson inspiration came from Parenting in the Latter-days, FHE lesson.  We didn't get much further than the scripture tonight, with all the time our deliveries took... I'll save the rest of the lesson for next week!

Published by: McKell

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Why I'm a Stay at Home Mom

Like so many of us, I had different plans in mind for when I "grew up". I am very driven and was fast-tracked for medical school. I had perfect grades and would be entering college a National Merit Scholar and technically a sophomore. My father is a highly specialized physician, as was his father before him. Also, my grandfather and great-grandfather were Deans for universities and med-schools. I have a profound appreciation for the human body and science. Both of my parents instilled in me a great love for learning and a desire to further my education as much as I could. But they taught me the importance of family and being the best mother/spouse/sister/daughter I could be as well. I wanted to do that, too, but thought that I would have several or more true 'adult' years before that materialized as a possibility. That all changed when I met my husband.

We met at the beginning of my second year of college. I had just picked neuroscience as my major and was really loading up on classes to graduate ahead of schedule. The more we dated, the more I just knew that he was the one I wanted to spend my life with. I took it to the Lord in prayer and received confirmation. Five months after we met, we were engaged. And five months after that, we were married in the temple for all of time and eternity. We both graduated the next year (he stretched out his last couple semesters and I sped mine up. My last semester I had 24 credit hours, including the two online courses I was taking) and moved across the country where he had gotten a job. This is where my true internal struggle began.

Perhaps because I was young and egocentric, or perhaps because my academics were followed by newspapers in my hometown community- that's what you get for doing nerdy competitions all the time- I really felt like there was a specific expectation for my life path. I was supposed to make a difference, make oodles of money or at least find a cure for Alzheimer's or something. And I wanted to do all of those things, really. I still do. But more important than worldly accolades, I knew what I was truly supposed to do. And that was first and foremost to have children and raise them well. A former leader of our church, President David O. McKay, said, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." That truly resonates with me! Once I caught a snippet of a program of Dr. Laura on the radio. I had never listened to her before, nor have I listened to her since; but I really liked one statement that she made. She said that she learned that she could not have just a good career and be an 'ok' or good mother at the same time. She could only do one thing at a time if she wanted to do either really well. I'm not saying that's true for everyone, and some don't have a choice regardless, but that really hit me. If I wanted to be my own version of the very best mother, I really needed to focus only on that.

This decision did not come easily, and I have had a hard time defending it to many around me. I have had friends and relatives tell me, very decidedly and rather bluntly, that I was ruining my life. Throwing away all of my potential. I cannot tell you how much those words hurt. I am not a blind follower or uninformed. I know full well what I am capable of and the impact my choices will have on my life. Some make us feel that women can only be respected if they make themselves equal to men in the workforce. But I know that I can do the most good in my home, with my children- and I would most regret missing this time with them. To my friends' and families' credit, nearly everyone who at some point had harassed me about my decision has apologized and made amends; and I do not harbor anger or resentment. I only included this to show the pressure I faced in pursuing what I know to be right for our family. 

I love the recent comments from the Apostle D. Todd Christofferson, who spoke on the moral force of women. He stated,

A woman's moral influence is nowhere more powerfully felt or more beneficially employed than in the home. There is no better setting for rearing the rising generation than the traditional family, where a father and a mother work in harmony to provide for, teach, and nurture their children. Where this ideal does not exist, people strive to duplicate its benefits as best they can in their particular circumstances.

In all events, a mother can exert an influence unequaled by any other person in any other relationship.

                                                                         My boys!

Now here I am, with my three little boys (ages 4 1/2, 3 and 7 months) and husband, and my life has never felt crazier. Frenzied, frantic, and frenetic. I fear I may never be that woman who is calm and collected and has it all under control. We may never have the house we really want or the cars we'd love to drive or make those exotic trips that would be so fantastic. But when I get the small opportunities every day to teach and observe my boys, I know I made the right choice. When my baby flashes a toothless grin when I pick him up, or my 3-year-old runs over and kisses my knee unprovoked, I know I am blessed. Or when my oldest son asks me to read him books, I can cherish the moment. It is not easy, but I can feel that it is right. And I love that at the end of each day, I feel the comfort of knowing that I am doing something good. We are together; we are happy! And nothing has brought me pure joy like watching my children grow and learn and experience life. Have I made sacrifices? Of course. But they have been worth it many times over. And they are only here and young and ours for a short time. I do plan to go back for advanced degrees, but not right now. There is a time and a season for everything- and right now, mine is with my boys and trying to teach them to be honest, hard-working, and faithful men. And I know that is where I'm supposed to be.

Published by Jen

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My Decision to Marry Young

I started off my college career with big plans for myself.  I knew exactly what I wanted and I had my life all planned out.  My list of goals hanging on my closet door would help me to get there.  I planned to be a news anchor/reporter.  This dream spurred from watching the Olympics happen in Greece, and seeing our local news reporter in the midst of the action, interviewing top athletes, and exploring Greece!  “How awesome would that job be!” I thought.  Excitement, Action, Interesting People, and Traveling the world…  It still gives me tingles thinking about it.

I was attending BYU-Idaho with a hand or foot in about everything… working at the library, on the newspaper staff, singing in the choir, running cross-country, taking 18 credits, and getting into a new social circle.  Life was moving so fast, and I was loving it!

Another one of my goals was to go on an LDS church mission.  At the time, girls weren’t allowed to leave until the age of 21, so I planned for three years working on my degree, break for an 18 month mission, come back to BYU-Idaho to finish my degree, and then find a job where I could start working my way up the career ladder.  Accordingly, one of my goals was to date a lot, and have a lot of fun, but not to form any attachments with a boyfriend.  My plans with traveling, a mission, and a successful career, weren’t compatible with any serious relationships.

I grew up in a strong Mormon family, and all my years as a young woman, I was always taught, and I always planned for, the day when I would marry in the temple for time and all eternity, and then have a family.  This was also a strong goal of mine.  But my goals had an order to them, and this would fall at the end of the line.  I had places to see and things to accomplish first. 

This is why, after I had been dating Devin for a while, I had this huge internal struggle.   I liked him, A LOT!  He was five years older than me, had finished college, and he wanted to get more serious.  But he was not in my plans!  I still had a lot of college to do!  I still had a mission!  And a career as a reporter doesn’t exactly fit the wife and mother lifestyle.  He was about 4-5 years early, and he wasn’t going to sit around and wait.

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Introducing!!!

We are so excited to get this blog going!  As our introductory video says, we are stay-at-home moms, and members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  We love our Savior, Jesus Christ, and God, our Heavenly Father.  We know there are many misconceptions about "the Mormons", and we want to help clear some of those up.  We love our church and want to help spread the gospel message!  Follow us through our journey as wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters, striving to be disciples of Christ.

Also, we'd love to hear from you!  Join the conversations by adding your comments to our posts!

Posted by: McKell and Jen

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                           Day By Day Mormons!

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